Dear Kate Bush,
I first heard you when your single "Rubberband Girl" was being played on Rage. It must've been 1993. I remember your insane dancing and I thought that I too want to be a Rubberband Girl - someone who can take it all and bounce back.
It wasn't until I was around 15, however, that I heard "Wuthering Heights" on Triple J. I must've been reading the book around the same time, and like most emo-teens, the book had struck a chord. That song captured the emotions perfectly. You were so different to anything else I'd ever heard. You came into my life like some ethereal being and your music cut through all the crap I hated - I'd always gone around feeling different to everyone else, and feeling that everyone was plastic and just didn't get it - and you seemed to really get it.
I was in love.
By a complete stroke of luck, I found your "Live at Hammersmith Odeon" album in a discount bin in an old record store. It cost $10 - perfect for a povo teen.
Even though I'd never been in a relationship, the song "Moving" had the chorus:
How I'm moved.
How you move me
With your beauty's potency.
You give me life.
Please don't let me go.
You crush the lily in my soul.
It was exactly what I wanted to feel - that feeling of seduction.
It captivated me.
"Them Heavy People" reminded me of a teacher from highschool who I was obsessed with - he was the smartest man I'd ever met. I felt sorry for him (he was very plain and a total geek) but looked forward to his classes each week - he was just so interesting and I learnt so much about religion and philosophy from him to a level that I've never learnt anywhere since. "So now I take the opportunities/ Wonderful teachers ready to teach me..."
I then bought the album The Kick Inside.
I heard Saxophone Song and the line "You'll never know that you had all of me. You'll never see the poetry you stirred in me" has stuck with me since - even though at the time, I'd still never been in a relationship. "The Man with the Child in his Eyes" told me about some mysterious man who would come and take me away and love me. "Feel it" was everything I wanted to feel and desire - a wonderful seduction:
"Never for Ever" brought some silliness in the form of "Violin". I grew up playing the violin and loved that playful side to her.
I loved Kate's dark side too.
"The Dreaming" album was crazy and from the gut. "The Night of the Swallow" was full of desperation while "Get out of my House" was just complete despair - like she was actually sobbing with pain. No one else expressed this depth of feeling - but I had felt it - I felt it all.
The "Hounds of Love" album was sheer brilliance.
"The Sensual World" album was so very female. The title song was another wonderful seduction and just so clever, while "Never Be Mine" and "This Woman's Work" made me cry.
"The Red Shoes" had the song "Moments of Pleasure" which still brings a tear.
Just being alive
It can really hurt
And these moments given
Are a gift from time
I was so happy when, years later, and for the first time since I'd been a fan (even though I'd been a fan for years), she brought out "Aerial". It's the last album I bought in physical form - 6 years ago.
"Bertie" made me feel the sheer joy of a child - and made me long for that type of joy - while it took many listens of "Mrs Bartolozzi" for me to realise what she was actually singing about - and now the song gives me shivers up my spine - it's just so powerful.
The second concept side to the album had two seductions - "Sunset" and Nocturn". Love and bliss.
I thank Kate Bush for being able to capture how I feel - and how I want to feel.
The highs, the lows, the craziness, the despair - and all the love, love, love, love.
I'm glad she's back.
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