Day 12 - Something you never get compliments on

I think I'd rather write in general on the topic of compliments.

I am addicted to compliments.

Or rather, I need constant reassurance. I'm not sure why - it's a strange mix of being both terribly insecure and massively vain that I need people to constantly validate me.

I probably dress up more than I need to, play up to people more than I need to - and what really annoys me about it is that if it were someone else, I would find it pathetic and not even like the person.

I'm a dress employee as long as I'm getting praise and recognition. Take that away and I have zero motivation. Even my undergraduate marks range from barely scraping through subjects to getting 100% and high 90s in others - all based on the relationship I had with the lecturer - I need to worship and be worshipped back.

I can't take being ignored.

The worst part of it is that I know all my faults, and can see myself having irrational thoughts - but I can't change it.