Kate Bush - Love and Anger
Alanis Morissette - Not As We
Carpenters - A Song for You
Alanis Morissette - In Praise of the Vulnerable Man
Plan B feat Faith SFX - Stand by Me
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Day 12 - Something you never get compliments on
I think I'd rather write in general on the topic of compliments.
I am addicted to compliments.
Or rather, I need constant reassurance. I'm not sure why - it's a strange mix of being both terribly insecure and massively vain that I need people to constantly validate me.
I probably dress up more than I need to, play up to people more than I need to - and what really annoys me about it is that if it were someone else, I would find it pathetic and not even like the person.
I'm a dress employee as long as I'm getting praise and recognition. Take that away and I have zero motivation. Even my undergraduate marks range from barely scraping through subjects to getting 100% and high 90s in others - all based on the relationship I had with the lecturer - I need to worship and be worshipped back.
I can't take being ignored.
The worst part of it is that I know all my faults, and can see myself having irrational thoughts - but I can't change it.
I am addicted to compliments.
Or rather, I need constant reassurance. I'm not sure why - it's a strange mix of being both terribly insecure and massively vain that I need people to constantly validate me.
I probably dress up more than I need to, play up to people more than I need to - and what really annoys me about it is that if it were someone else, I would find it pathetic and not even like the person.
I'm a dress employee as long as I'm getting praise and recognition. Take that away and I have zero motivation. Even my undergraduate marks range from barely scraping through subjects to getting 100% and high 90s in others - all based on the relationship I had with the lecturer - I need to worship and be worshipped back.
I can't take being ignored.
The worst part of it is that I know all my faults, and can see myself having irrational thoughts - but I can't change it.
Day 11 - Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
I skipped a day, because I can.
And the answer to this one, in order, is:
- my accessories or jewellery
- my clothes or shoes
- my face
- my eyes
~~~
In other news though, it's not been such a good week for hubby. One of his friends had a still born baby a few days ago - strangled on his way out. And his bosses' wife has lost her battle with cancer today. She was the heart and mind of their company, and although she's been in hospital for over 6 months now, it's well and truly over today. Sad, sad, sad. She leaves behind two teenagers.
There seems to be a lot of death around. I remember thinking, maybe about 5 years ago, that I've only been to one funeral and that was for a 90-something who lived a full life and that I hardly knew anyone who had died. Today is a different story. That funeral is still the only funeral I've been to for an elderly person, though. Everyone else had died way, way too young.
~~~
My all time favourite singer, Kate Bush, is releasing a new album. It'll be an album of remastered songs, but still, it's something new from her - there's not enough of that! I love Kate. Ever since I was an emo 14 year old reading Wuthering Heights, discovering her song on some flashback video clip on TV. She's so unique, talented and kooky - she captures something at the core of us. I can't even describe it.
But here, take a look.
And the answer to this one, in order, is:
- my accessories or jewellery
- my clothes or shoes
- my face
- my eyes
~~~
In other news though, it's not been such a good week for hubby. One of his friends had a still born baby a few days ago - strangled on his way out. And his bosses' wife has lost her battle with cancer today. She was the heart and mind of their company, and although she's been in hospital for over 6 months now, it's well and truly over today. Sad, sad, sad. She leaves behind two teenagers.
There seems to be a lot of death around. I remember thinking, maybe about 5 years ago, that I've only been to one funeral and that was for a 90-something who lived a full life and that I hardly knew anyone who had died. Today is a different story. That funeral is still the only funeral I've been to for an elderly person, though. Everyone else had died way, way too young.
~~~
My all time favourite singer, Kate Bush, is releasing a new album. It'll be an album of remastered songs, but still, it's something new from her - there's not enough of that! I love Kate. Ever since I was an emo 14 year old reading Wuthering Heights, discovering her song on some flashback video clip on TV. She's so unique, talented and kooky - she captures something at the core of us. I can't even describe it.
But here, take a look.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Day 09 - Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
I was such good friends with this guy during my undergrad degree, being the "fag hag" that I am. You know when you spend everyday hanging out with someone and you're really good friends, and you think they must like you back? Well, I was really upset when, after graduating, he couldn't be bothered staying in contact. He barely replied to emails or calls and didn't bother turning up to my wedding reception. I was really upset, really bothered - and really confused.
I don't put use by dates on friendships.
I don't put use by dates on friendships.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Fingers crossed
Month two of really, seriously trying hard to have a baby.
I am ovulating.
Sorry for all the TMI, but it's freaking me out.
I am ovulating.
Sorry for all the TMI, but it's freaking me out.
Day 08 - Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Hmm, not too easy to answer. I have to say I've had issues with various people in the past - stomping on me, claiming my work as their own etc. But you know, I do now recognise that part of it is me. I didn't speak up, I didn't self-promote, I didn't make the right connections and relationships.
While I think I'm better at it now, I'll never be a natural, and I'll always feel a little overlooked and hard done by.
I need to continue to know:
- If you can't beat them, join them (particularly if I'm feeling jealous or if someone is too smart for me to dominate).
- I'm playing a different game (I'm not really in competition with anyone - no one is like me).
People, on the whole, however, are generally nice.
While I think I'm better at it now, I'll never be a natural, and I'll always feel a little overlooked and hard done by.
I need to continue to know:
- If you can't beat them, join them (particularly if I'm feeling jealous or if someone is too smart for me to dominate).
- I'm playing a different game (I'm not really in competition with anyone - no one is like me).
People, on the whole, however, are generally nice.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Soundtrack...
Name a song that you've listened to in the past 24 hours
Still in my head as I was listening to it while driving home from work today - Plan B's cover of Kanye's Runaway
It's funny and brilliant :-)
What's the first album you bought with your own money?
Hmm - first single was Radiohead's Creep. Not sure about album - it was possible Kate Bush or Tori Amos.
Name a song that makes you smile
This
If you were to portray someone in a rock biopic, who would it be?
See - I'm limited by my looks - who looks like me? Although then again - if Cate Blanchett could successfully be Bob Dylan, I'm sure I can be anyone!
Name three songs you love that you wish others knew, but probably don't
In California - Joanna Newsom.
I am desperate for sheet music but can only find tabs online. I wish she'd publish sheet music like Tori Amos does - plenty of geeky girls like me are dying to play her wonderful compositions on our pianos.
to spend my life in spitting distance
of the love that i have known
i must stay here
in an endless eveningtide
This Woman's Work, Moments of Pleasure - Kate Bush
Two songs, both genius. Both very female stories of hurt and resilience.
Just being alive
It can really hurt
And these moments given
Are a gift from time
Hyperballad (Brodsky quartet) - Bjork
The song is well known - but this version is amazing! I love how the strings capture her story - and I love the story itself.
i go through all this - before you wake up
so I can feel happier - to be safe up here with you
What was the last concert you attended?
The Future Music Festival just two days ago - and did I ever feel old!
What's your favorite 80's song?
This is a hard one to pick - so I won't choose a favourite - I'll just pick this one.
Name a song always makes you feel weepy
This
Is there a song you associate with your first kiss?
No. Because it was crap and I was drunk. And it was a very long time before I was kissed properly.
Do you recall what you were listening to the first time you drank alcohol?
Again - no - although I don't know the first time I drank alcohol - I was always sipping my dad's wine.
Name an album that's guaranteed to get a person laid
Jeff Buckley - most definitely.
But right now - this song will do.
What song would you be happy to never hear again?
Hmmm - a lot of things on Hubby's ipod! :-)
Name a song that always takes you back
Takes me back to what? One that takes me back to a difficult state that I was in when I was younger is George's Special Ones.
Whose music do you want played at your funeral?
Frank Sinatra's "My Way" couldn't have been more perfect at my father-in-law's funeral - that song was him. Same with the beautiful "Hail Mary, Gentle Woman" at my aunt's funeral last year(which I sang).
It's all feeling a little close at the moment, and I can't really contemplate my own, but I hope that my decendants can choose something which captures my life as well as these.
Still in my head as I was listening to it while driving home from work today - Plan B's cover of Kanye's Runaway
It's funny and brilliant :-)
What's the first album you bought with your own money?
Hmm - first single was Radiohead's Creep. Not sure about album - it was possible Kate Bush or Tori Amos.
Name a song that makes you smile
This
If you were to portray someone in a rock biopic, who would it be?
See - I'm limited by my looks - who looks like me? Although then again - if Cate Blanchett could successfully be Bob Dylan, I'm sure I can be anyone!
Name three songs you love that you wish others knew, but probably don't
In California - Joanna Newsom.
I am desperate for sheet music but can only find tabs online. I wish she'd publish sheet music like Tori Amos does - plenty of geeky girls like me are dying to play her wonderful compositions on our pianos.
to spend my life in spitting distance
of the love that i have known
i must stay here
in an endless eveningtide
This Woman's Work, Moments of Pleasure - Kate Bush
Two songs, both genius. Both very female stories of hurt and resilience.
Just being alive
It can really hurt
And these moments given
Are a gift from time
Hyperballad (Brodsky quartet) - Bjork
The song is well known - but this version is amazing! I love how the strings capture her story - and I love the story itself.
i go through all this - before you wake up
so I can feel happier - to be safe up here with you
What was the last concert you attended?
The Future Music Festival just two days ago - and did I ever feel old!
What's your favorite 80's song?
This is a hard one to pick - so I won't choose a favourite - I'll just pick this one.
Name a song always makes you feel weepy
This
Is there a song you associate with your first kiss?
No. Because it was crap and I was drunk. And it was a very long time before I was kissed properly.
Do you recall what you were listening to the first time you drank alcohol?
Again - no - although I don't know the first time I drank alcohol - I was always sipping my dad's wine.
Name an album that's guaranteed to get a person laid
Jeff Buckley - most definitely.
But right now - this song will do.
What song would you be happy to never hear again?
Hmmm - a lot of things on Hubby's ipod! :-)
Name a song that always takes you back
Takes me back to what? One that takes me back to a difficult state that I was in when I was younger is George's Special Ones.
Whose music do you want played at your funeral?
Frank Sinatra's "My Way" couldn't have been more perfect at my father-in-law's funeral - that song was him. Same with the beautiful "Hail Mary, Gentle Woman" at my aunt's funeral last year(which I sang).
It's all feeling a little close at the moment, and I can't really contemplate my own, but I hope that my decendants can choose something which captures my life as well as these.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Hubby.
Despite everything, he's always there for me. He's been there for me through my entire adult life.
We're often bewildered by each other - we're just so different - but still, he remains my Sweetness and Light.
Despite everything, he's always there for me. He's been there for me through my entire adult life.
We're often bewildered by each other - we're just so different - but still, he remains my Sweetness and Light.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
I have done enough things that I hoped never to have to do.
Enough.
And yet I know there will be more.
Enough.
And yet I know there will be more.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
I hope to have kids. I hope to have healthy kids.
Not just because I really, really, really need some sort of change, but I want something more to live for and to pass on and etc. - even though I know my life will forever change - and despite all my rants - I do like my life.
But as each month goes by, well, it's just sad, disappointing.
Not just because I really, really, really need some sort of change, but I want something more to live for and to pass on and etc. - even though I know my life will forever change - and despite all my rants - I do like my life.
But as each month goes by, well, it's just sad, disappointing.